Category Archives: wild vines

Final Frontier 3 – Revelation

I actually wrote this back in early November.  The “event” itself occurred back in October some time and I took my time in writing it out.  I had forgotten about it but it is significant.

The follow up to this is that I’ve lost a few pounds, I have started to be more active, I do feel better, and I am still grateful for my body, quirky as it is. I’ve also lost my taste for junk food.  AAck!!

Well,

Last night, I finally had THE revelation.  Well, I think it’s pretty significant anyway.  So, as the title indicates this is another in the EFT weight loss journey that I’m on, thanks to my friend.  It came rather suddenly as well but I was working on something else and it came down to it.

So, I had been asking a friend of mine what some of my blocks were (to romance, of course) and she mentioned, ” I keep getting that you don’t want to be seen naked”.    Well, yeah . ..  so? she make it sound like a bad thing.  Who, without a perfect body, does want to be seen.  Well, to be honest, i’ve just tried to ignore that little fact and since my body is my body, I can’t take a pill to make it magically different and I don’t want to wait until i’m perfect to have an intimate relationship (cause that ain’t NEVER going to happen). So, what to do?  How do I quickly get over my squeamishness and denial about my imperfect body so that this is not one of the blocks to my having a more romantic relationship or to anything else for that matter?

Well, in a blinding flash of insight (i really am slow sometimes – this time about 30 years slow) I thought – EFT!! It’s the fastest way to work through fears and doubts and I do mean fast – try it on something sometime that you think is insurmountable.  I have applied this on a couple of things and in the space of minutes i’ve had the realization of what the core issue was with the apparent issue and been able to overcome it.

Well, I did some tapping over the weekend, and did a bit more last night and last night as I was lying in bed, it came.  The revelation, of my lifetime, i’m sure, since I think so much of my identity is hooked in to my body (even though Ive denied it for years:

My body is my best friend; ever.  It has always been there for me.  It has never lied to me.  It communicates regularly with me.  It has always told me when there was something wrong.  It has protected me when I needed it to.  It has never failed me.

I can say this with confidence, that my body has never failed me even though I’ve been ill, been injured, injured myself, fought back and successfully stayed healthy no matter how much I have abused it (and I do love junk food!) and neglected it (i.e. no exercise) because I believe my physical state completely reflects my mental, spiritual and emotional state.  It is the mirror of my other aspects.  I believe in Louise Hay, when she says all physical symptoms are a reflection of other issues in your life (I’m paraphrasing here).  I have seen evidence of it continuously since I started looking at my physical state as a symptom of other things.  The most obvious of this type of reflection is one that we all know – when you look like a slob or don’t care for yourself, it generally indicates to others that perhaps you don’t have as much respect for yourself as you could (I’m not sure if Sunday pajama day counts in there . . . ), but i’m sure you catch my drift.

The tapping seems to have worked as today I feel great, my joints are moving a bit better (of  course the yoga and stretching Im doing may be helping with that) and hurt less, and i’m not afraid to look in the mirror (and I have really big mirrors in my bathroom – yes it’s a rental).

So,  my body is my best friend and I have to say, it is definitely time to start treating this particular friend with a great deal more respect, love, care, and gratitude.

So, thanks to my body, for always looking out for me.

With love and light,

Jenn

Acknowledgments and reference:

Louise Hay, You can Heal Your Life: a great book!

EFT: Emotional Freedom Technique, www.emofree.com

Any other questions or comments, please contact me at wyldvynes@gmail.com.  Thanks!

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My Final Frontier: October 25, 2009

Well,

I haven’t changed any of my eating habits, per se, I am trying to eat more fruit and veggies, and thanks to my roommate, that is easier, because she is willing to help me with it.   I did start working out once I got back from my vacation as i was already on a roll – I don’t have stairs at my place but where I was staying back east (Ontario, where I’m originally from) at my mom’s and at my sister’s, they have full stairs – upstairs and down so I ended up in better shape when I got back from vacation than when I left.  So i thought i’d try and keep up the momentum.

My roommate has a little stepper that she uses to work out with and has very kindly allowed me its use (along with the exercise DVD) and while I haven’t put a lot of thought into what I’m going to do for a regular exercise regime, I do know that while I like working out, I don’t really like gyms (unless there is a pool) and i do like walking. So, no firm plans yet but I worked out on Wednesday and Friday for about 20 minutes adn walked today for about 30 minutes.  In my mind, this is all good.

What I didn’t anticipate in this whole process, and totally forgot about and frankly decided to ignore and tell it to go back to work . . . is my left knee.

Yes, my left knee.  I had it scoped 3 times in the space of 10 years, i think, the last time was 5 years ago.  I think.  Yes, 5 years ago.  The last time i had it fixed, they told me the next time would probably be an ACL replacement (ligament reconstruction).  Not something I’m really keen on, frankly, I’ve heard the stories.  However, in the last few months (year?), I’ve noticed that as I’ve changed my way of thinking around to being more positive, and letting go of all my old habits (still working on that one) that my knee has been making itself heard – literally.  When i bend it, it sounds like little ball bearings all scraping together.  And, since I started working out again, it’s started slipping again – the knee, or cap, has been slipping and jerking and catching and causing a great deal of pain.

So, I need to tap on this – do my EFT thing for it so I can heal it but I’m not sure exactly what it was that was going on.  So, I pulled out my trusty Louise Hay “You Can Heal Your Life” graphic version reference to injuries and illnesses and their causes and lo and behold . . . what does the knee represent you ask, perhaps with doubt in your voice . . .

Well, it’s a multileveled answer:

Joints represent our ability to move forward and knees are about pride and ego and knee problems are about inflexibility, fear, stubbornly holding on to the old crap. Ha.  Ha!

I am ashamed and my ego is taking a hit, as is my pride.  First of all that I couldn’t do this or figure this out myself, or motivate myself. I am an intelligent human being and I’ve put off for years what any logical and intelligent person would have addressed years ago.

Well, thank god for emotions.  I am, as are we all, an emotional being. 

So,  I “knee”d to get over myself and forgive myself for being human.  Geez. I’m sure I”m the only one who has this issue too.  LOL

With love and light

Jenn

Q&C: wyldvynes@gmail.com

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The Odyssey

There is something freeing and life defining, or releasing, about getting your hair done.  And I do mean done, not just cut, or washed, or trimmed, or having your colour touched up (although that washing sure is lovely). By done, I mean re-designed.  And it doesn’t have to be majorly radical but it might be highlights in a different colour or using a completely different colour altogether, or the classic – actually cutting your hair! And I don’t imagine it’s just women who feel that way;  I imagine men feel that way too sometimes, although it may not be about a haircut.

I realized this the other day when I was sitting at work waiting to go and get my hair done.  My hair has been pretty low maintenance the last few years – home colour and trims as it was long with perm in it and I didn’t need to do much but trim out the perm as I cut it shorter.  But I also hadn’t made that much effort to find a new stylist as my old hair stylist who, for 6 or 7 years, knew me and my hair very well, left the province a few years ago (which sucked but I understood).   Her move sort of started the whole growing out process and frankly the move into the lowest maintenance hair I could get.

But I decided, partly in anticipation of summer, partly out of boredom, partly out of annoyance about my roots showing and not wanting to colour it again myself, that I need to get my hair done.  I was also thinking I would just do a trim on my hair, maybe add a few layers but nothing major.  And I’ve been known for major hair changes in the past.

All day though, as I waited until 245, I was kinda down.  It felt like something was ending and I was feeling kind of sad about it. Rather sentimental, I suppose, and frankly , very nervous as I’d never been to this particular before (although she came highly recommended) as I was having something major done (layers cut in, at least, and this too can go badly, believe me).  However, luckily, the ladies I was working with distracted me a bit near the end so it came quickly without too many nerves;  I even entered the chopping block a titch late.

So, after this and that, 2 hours later, there I was looking at myself in the mirror.  The stylist had reassured me when I initially went in as she told me she had been thinking about my colour the night before and what we should do.  So, there I was, done.  The hair was red, the shape was similar to what I had had, there were millions of layers in it, the style was funky and hip, and I thought, I’m back.

So, what did I discover through my hair odyssey?  I have high maintenance hair.  And the funky bright sytle and colour are actually a refelction of me, as well.  And although I really like low maintenance hair (a subjective classificaiton, belive me)  I suppose it’s also a reflection that I believe am worth the work and that I do deserve to look good. Translation, I deserve good things and am worthy of them as well.

So, kids, what do you need to do to remind you that you’re worth it and that you deserve all the good things the universe has to offer?

With love and light,

Jenn

C’s or Q’s?  Email me at wyldvynes@yahoo.ca

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Where did my blankie go?

You know when you were a kid, and you reached a point in your childhood when you decided it was time to grow up and put away your blankie? That one thing that you always had with you, or kept in your bed, that kept you sane and stable when all around you seemed to be going mad because, well, first of all, everything was happening 3 feet higher than you, and sometimes there was yelling or crying or just loud noises or laughing, or people you didn’t know or, the classic, smelled funny?

Maybe you didn’t have one but I did. I remember when I put my blankie away the first time. And now I still have one – but it looks oddly like a stuffed animal . . . regardless, I realized this week that I have been neglecting a much needed blankie for me, and one that I hope is also providing hope and support to some of you out there. As soon as things were shifting around (such as my friends leaving, and me getting the dream job that I had been asking for), and moving forward, adn getting better, I dropped that blog/blankie like a hot potato.

So, shame on me – I am doing the best I can but I know that I can do better now. I do need to keep contributing to my blog, because, well, even if there isn’t anyone out there reading it, I need to express it somehow. Yes, that’s me, I’m all about the sharing . . . 😉

But seriously, in a manner of speaking, I forgot where I came from and I’m pretty sure that’s ok. Sometimes it’s good to do that, at least for a while, until you’re ready to go back and look at the dark times but I think, for me anyway, it’s important for to remember that this is here because the dark times cycle in and out, and transitions always occur, some easier than others (where are those margaritas??) but there will always be change. And now, there can always be blog . . .

I’m terrible at journaling.  I have journals started all over the place with the intent to get my stuff out and I haven’t always been keen on the blog scene because I’ve heard that many sites are just private diaries – not into reality shows, thanks, my own is pretty wild enough.  So, for my own sake, I need to blog, I guess, instead of journal. But I talk things out when I’m trying to figure things out:   I just start talking: “if this, then this” type-of-thing, kind of like brainstorming but with my voice rather than a pen, so at least this way, on a blog, I can still talk and mumble, but I’m not confusing the hell out of my roommate . . . and people might not think I’m quite so nuts. . . (well, that might not happen).

It’s all good. But for those of you who have put your blankie down, the thing that got you through the bad times . . . what do you need to remember about it? Do you need to let it go, do you need to know that you can let it go when you need to and stand on your own?  Do you need to realize that it is still a valuable tool and that you need to incorporate it into your everyday routine?

Hopefully you aren’t coping with your transitions with abuses, and if so, please ask for some help – there are many options out there, but we all find something to help us cope and to get through the tough times; but if you’ve gotten through, or are getting through, instead of running away at high speed from your (non-destructive) coping mechanism, what do you need to take from it? What did you learn from it? What can you share with others, from your own experience?

And then take those answers and lessons and resolutions and hold them up like the badges of honour that they are because we all need some way that’s positive and supportive to get through the tough times. Those mechanisms that keep us going forward in the rough times help us be the hero in each of our own stories.  And sometimes our story can help someone else be the hero in their own story or gives them hope about getting back into the light and back on path so  I  think it’s important to share when and how you’ve met your challenge.  And it let’s us all know that we’re not alone in the dark, ever.

And treat yourself with care; you are a limited edition, one-of-a-kind masterpiece and someone out there (if not many someones) really wants you to be around with them.

So, the blankie is on the wall now . . or is the blankie on the blog now . . .

With love and light,
Jenn

Qs or Cs? Email me at wyldvynes@yahoo.ca

Not sure how to move ahead or to start or finish a transition? EFT helped me a great deal and with many things and someone has probably tried using it on an issue similar to yours – they say to try it on everything; the manual is even free! Check out the website at http://www.emofree.com.
There are many resources out there to help you through any situation. Please take advantage of them. Hugs, jenn

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Spring Clearing

Now, Spring Clearing (or cleaning) is not a new thing, is it? It’s something that we get the urge to do when the days get longer, and the air gets warmer, and when there is that nice breeze going so you can air out your house and get all that stale winter air out of there.
But it’s also about clearing out your own “stuff” too, the stuff that no longer serves you: old habits, old beliefs, old anger, old attachments, etc.

I hadn’t really thought about it other than in terms of rotating some of my clothes and getting my capris cleaned up so I could start to wear them to work (I love capris – I would love to live in a place where I could wear them all year round). But as I was boasting to my roommate yesterday, that although I hadn’t left the house, neither had I spent my whole day sitting on the couch reading, but had been going through my closet trying to clear it out a bit and put away a bunch of stuff that I’ve been setting aside to deal with, she popped out with – it’s spring cleaning time, Jenn – and not just for clothing!(yes, she’s a healer and intuitive too).

So, here I am. And what makes a good spring clearing?

Well, first of all, set the intent that you are going to move out those things that no longer serve you, whether it’s old clothing, flannel sheets, old magazines or papers, or old beliefs and attachments.

Next, set yourself up to clear things out completely so that you aren’t just moving stuff around. For example, set up your recycling and garbage bins, set up a give-away box, and start putting things in those bins first. Once they are full, put them outside, or into bags, or into the car for takeaway as soon as possible.

How do you determine what is to be disposed of?
Well, does it still serve you? Or, do you still love it, or love it now? If not, get rid of it.
For example: Does the belief that you need triplicate of your paperwork really serve you or can you put some things onto your computer? Does the belief that you have to eat dinner in order to get dessert still serve you? Do you still need 12 sets of sheets? Does spending every Wednesday night listening to all your girlfriends complain about their jobs really still work for you? Do all those negative thoughts that keep running through your head still really support your growth? Are those expectations you have of that person really reasonable or are they something you need to re-evaluate? How much energy are you wasting doing something you don’t want to do (including work)?

If it’s something you need, is there a proper place for it (i.e. filing or laundry)? Can you pack something away? Do you really need it if it needs to be packed away?
Shouldn’t something you really need be something you use on a regular basis? (And no,we’re not talking taxes here – you need 7 years worth of that stuff hanging around – or at least accessible). So, not counting taxes, if it’s a belief system, shouldn’t it be a belief that works for you on a regular basis as opposed to only once a year or for something that happened years ago that someone else defined for you?

Sometimes you may not be ready to let go of something, and that’s ok, but if you’re holding on to something out of habit rather than out of care or respect for YOURSELF, maybe it’s time to take a look at it, or at least put it on the agenda for review. This may also be a good time to find a neutral party to help you sort through that old stuff and send it on its way, someone like a healer, or reader, if you’d rather, to help pinpoint those things you need to look at.

Overall though, even clearing out your closet releases energy and gives you more energy in your living space, both exterior and interior, so whatever you decide to clean out, or keep, remember, do you really need it? They (who is that anyway??) always say, you need to make room in order to receive more.

And with all that’s going on in the bigger picture right now, with the economy and the feeling on everyone’s part that something needs to change, this is a good time to focus on what parts of your life still work for you, and what parts don’t anymore.

And, while you’re doing your clearing, how about moving out that little thing your Auntie Em gave you way back when that you never use . . . I’m sure someone could use it . . . somewhere . . . 🙂

So, happy spring clearing!

With Love and Light,
jenn

Qs or Cs? Email me at wyldvynes@yahoo.ca

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Safety Girl Moves Forward

I wanted to continue a bit with my last posting (Fearless Inventory reveals Safety Girl, Feb 16/09) about security, safety (that’s me, the Safety Girl), and boundaries and letting go of those boundaries because i had a rather interesting experience this week.

I started working part time at a shop last week (the place I was thinking was my dream job – and it may be but not quite yet) where I’m doing readings. I had planned to go in yesterday because I had left my lunch there (it had my banana cake in it, with cream cheese icing, and no way was I leaving it there to go bad, fridge or no fridge) and had wanted to pick it up. I had originally planned on going today (Wed) but my day yesterday ended up being only a half day of work so I was off in the afternoon.

After trudging my way to the bus stop in Kensington, from downtown (and it was trudging, let me tell you), finally making it home (I missed the bus by a minute), eating the lunch I’d made to eat at the office (mmm, chickpea salad) and reading a good book, I headed to bed for a nap (still trudging here), thinking, it’s ok, I’ll go tomorrow to the shop. I read for about 25 minutes and it came in to my head, that I really needed to go to the shop as soon as possible.

So, I jumped up, threw on some nicer clothes (I’d changed from work when I’d gotten home) and headed out, road raging all the way because all of the sudden I needed to get somewhere in a hurry and everyone in front of me was driving slow. Thank goodness, no accidents and no tickets; I guess the gods, and apparently, my grandmother, were looking out for me. So, finally made it to the shop. Lunch was still intact and the shop owner and one of the other ladies that works there were talking about someone who was coming to do some work.

Ok. Who believes in kismet? Coincidence? Things happening for a reason? This lady (we’ll call her CC for now, as I don’t have her permission yet to mention her name), CC, had called in as she was looking to join the shop and make her services in Belief Re-Patterning (TM, developed by Suze Casey, MEd) available to the public. She had called earlier that morning or something to make a “test” appointment (she was to do a test run, sort an interview, for the owner, to see how she would best fit in) then had called back a bit later to move the appointment back to 3 pm.

Lo, and behold, here I come walking in, at about 2:45pm, saying I had to be here today, and what’s going on? the owner didn’t really want to sit that day for the exercise, wasn’t feeling up to it or something and so she decided that I should take the appointment. So, there I was when CC walked in; we got settled and started our session. We sat in chairs facing each other, she with her hand on my knee.

The basic principle behind the Belief Re-patterning (TM) is to release beliefs that no longer serve us or that limit us in some way (you can read more about it on the website – see the end of the post for that). There are lots of limiting beliefs – I’ve talked about some of those here: beliefs about boundaries and safety, for example. I do some belief release work in my healing practice as well so was curious about this different process.

it uses muscle testing to determine what beliefs, emotions, etc need to be addressed. We started with my arm and it was not cooperating at all (wouldn’t really give us a straight answer) so we switched to using my hand, which did give us clear answers.

We started with OUTRAGE, and moved our way through several steps, quite rapidly, to the point where I was stating that I am collected and peaceful in all situations in my life. We passed through forgiving myself for believing that others know my truth better than me (those parents!!) and through choosing, freedom, and a few other steps that while seemingly rapid, were quite profound. At different points I was breathing pretty heavy to clear what was sticking in my chest, crying, speechless because I couldn’t say the words that I needed to say to go through the “point” in the process, and near the end, holding myself straight in my chair, still breathing heavy, out of sheer pride, because I wanted to throw myself onto the ground and wail with fear and pain at the feelings that were coming through and at how difficult it was to break the belief and build new ones. I was also dizzy through a large part of the second half.

I’ve seen all of these things in my own healing practice and have experienced variations of them in my own release process through other healing modalities (EFT, Healing Touch, Energy Medicine, NLP, shamanist healing, etc). However, in my sessions, other than EFT, which I had only ever done on my own, it usually took about an hour to 2 hours, sometimes longer, to get to the end point, or the closing point for the session. I have always experienced a shift, in every session, some faster than others, but rarely I think, in such a far reaching manner.

My session with CC took about 20 minutes from start to finish. I am blown away, still, now, as I write about it. I could see the ramifications of what we were doing touching, literally, on all of the stuff I had been working on the last couple of weeks, about boundaries, about safety, about moving forward, on things that I had been struggling with my whole life. 20 bloody minutes.

Only 1 other time can I remember the clarity that I had in this session and that came after someone, who had a great deal of negative influence in my life, died. I had this person in my life for my entire life, and by the end of the weekend (I heard on Friday of the death), I had such clarity and could see how that person had affected me in everything in my life, and it was such a profound relief to me that they had passed that I was almost a completely different person come Monday. It was pretty amazing. This was similar and in only 20 minutes.

is everyone going to have this kind of shift? Well, I hope so. However, as with all healing work, sometimes the shift will be subtle, and other times, big, and other times physically demanding, and other times, a happy experience. Each person, believe me, will get what they need out of each session they go to provided they go with the intent to shift and move things and let go of stuff.

When I talk about doing the fearless inventory, of looking at your stuff, the outcome, ideally, is this kind of clarity. It won’t always be that way but if you are persistent in working to resolve your stuff, you will have these moments. And believe me, they are worth it.
I can easily say that I am grateful for my earlier experiences, however difficult they were, so that I could have such clarity and grace now, when I see the light, and have experienced the release.

So, now I have a new weapon in my arsenal, against my stuff. I recommend it but not everyone will want it that way. Some will want to get on a table and go that route – go in whatever route calls to you. There are many options out there.

Be at peace, and may you have clarity,
With love and light,
Jenn

Info: Belief Re-patterning (TM) website: http://www.beliefrepatterning.com
Check it out, read up on it. If you want to see the practitioner I did, send me an email (below) and I’ll get her full info for you. She is a practitioner, and I believe she is listed on the website, but let me know as I’ll get confirmed information.

The shop I work at is called Angels, Guides, & Spirits, 403-264-3576 in Calgary.

Questions or Comments: Please email me at wyldvyne@yahoo.ca

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