Category Archives: nature

My Final Frontier: October 25, 2009

Well,

I haven’t changed any of my eating habits, per se, I am trying to eat more fruit and veggies, and thanks to my roommate, that is easier, because she is willing to help me with it.   I did start working out once I got back from my vacation as i was already on a roll – I don’t have stairs at my place but where I was staying back east (Ontario, where I’m originally from) at my mom’s and at my sister’s, they have full stairs – upstairs and down so I ended up in better shape when I got back from vacation than when I left.  So i thought i’d try and keep up the momentum.

My roommate has a little stepper that she uses to work out with and has very kindly allowed me its use (along with the exercise DVD) and while I haven’t put a lot of thought into what I’m going to do for a regular exercise regime, I do know that while I like working out, I don’t really like gyms (unless there is a pool) and i do like walking. So, no firm plans yet but I worked out on Wednesday and Friday for about 20 minutes adn walked today for about 30 minutes.  In my mind, this is all good.

What I didn’t anticipate in this whole process, and totally forgot about and frankly decided to ignore and tell it to go back to work . . . is my left knee.

Yes, my left knee.  I had it scoped 3 times in the space of 10 years, i think, the last time was 5 years ago.  I think.  Yes, 5 years ago.  The last time i had it fixed, they told me the next time would probably be an ACL replacement (ligament reconstruction).  Not something I’m really keen on, frankly, I’ve heard the stories.  However, in the last few months (year?), I’ve noticed that as I’ve changed my way of thinking around to being more positive, and letting go of all my old habits (still working on that one) that my knee has been making itself heard – literally.  When i bend it, it sounds like little ball bearings all scraping together.  And, since I started working out again, it’s started slipping again – the knee, or cap, has been slipping and jerking and catching and causing a great deal of pain.

So, I need to tap on this – do my EFT thing for it so I can heal it but I’m not sure exactly what it was that was going on.  So, I pulled out my trusty Louise Hay “You Can Heal Your Life” graphic version reference to injuries and illnesses and their causes and lo and behold . . . what does the knee represent you ask, perhaps with doubt in your voice . . .

Well, it’s a multileveled answer:

Joints represent our ability to move forward and knees are about pride and ego and knee problems are about inflexibility, fear, stubbornly holding on to the old crap. Ha.  Ha!

I am ashamed and my ego is taking a hit, as is my pride.  First of all that I couldn’t do this or figure this out myself, or motivate myself. I am an intelligent human being and I’ve put off for years what any logical and intelligent person would have addressed years ago.

Well, thank god for emotions.  I am, as are we all, an emotional being. 

So,  I “knee”d to get over myself and forgive myself for being human.  Geez. I’m sure I”m the only one who has this issue too.  LOL

With love and light

Jenn

Q&C: wyldvynes@gmail.com

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Filed under Authentic, body, fearless, Final Frontier, healing, manifestation, nature, weight loss, wild vines

The Odyssey

There is something freeing and life defining, or releasing, about getting your hair done.  And I do mean done, not just cut, or washed, or trimmed, or having your colour touched up (although that washing sure is lovely). By done, I mean re-designed.  And it doesn’t have to be majorly radical but it might be highlights in a different colour or using a completely different colour altogether, or the classic – actually cutting your hair! And I don’t imagine it’s just women who feel that way;  I imagine men feel that way too sometimes, although it may not be about a haircut.

I realized this the other day when I was sitting at work waiting to go and get my hair done.  My hair has been pretty low maintenance the last few years – home colour and trims as it was long with perm in it and I didn’t need to do much but trim out the perm as I cut it shorter.  But I also hadn’t made that much effort to find a new stylist as my old hair stylist who, for 6 or 7 years, knew me and my hair very well, left the province a few years ago (which sucked but I understood).   Her move sort of started the whole growing out process and frankly the move into the lowest maintenance hair I could get.

But I decided, partly in anticipation of summer, partly out of boredom, partly out of annoyance about my roots showing and not wanting to colour it again myself, that I need to get my hair done.  I was also thinking I would just do a trim on my hair, maybe add a few layers but nothing major.  And I’ve been known for major hair changes in the past.

All day though, as I waited until 245, I was kinda down.  It felt like something was ending and I was feeling kind of sad about it. Rather sentimental, I suppose, and frankly , very nervous as I’d never been to this particular before (although she came highly recommended) as I was having something major done (layers cut in, at least, and this too can go badly, believe me).  However, luckily, the ladies I was working with distracted me a bit near the end so it came quickly without too many nerves;  I even entered the chopping block a titch late.

So, after this and that, 2 hours later, there I was looking at myself in the mirror.  The stylist had reassured me when I initially went in as she told me she had been thinking about my colour the night before and what we should do.  So, there I was, done.  The hair was red, the shape was similar to what I had had, there were millions of layers in it, the style was funky and hip, and I thought, I’m back.

So, what did I discover through my hair odyssey?  I have high maintenance hair.  And the funky bright sytle and colour are actually a refelction of me, as well.  And although I really like low maintenance hair (a subjective classificaiton, belive me)  I suppose it’s also a reflection that I believe am worth the work and that I do deserve to look good. Translation, I deserve good things and am worthy of them as well.

So, kids, what do you need to do to remind you that you’re worth it and that you deserve all the good things the universe has to offer?

With love and light,

Jenn

C’s or Q’s?  Email me at wyldvynes@yahoo.ca

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Fearless Inventory reveals Safety Girl

Have you ever heard the term “fearless inventory”? And no, I’m not talking about counting all those dust and cobweb-covered (ooh, the spiders!) cans in the back corner. It’s a term that has floated around for a while with different programs out there and it’s really both interesting and not a little unsettling.

As I recall, taking a “fearless inventory” means looking at all of your “stuff”, both your light “stuff” and your dark “stuff” (but mostly your dark “stuff”) without blinders on, without fooling yourself about it but also without judging yourself for it. It means looking at all that stuff and either fixing it or making reparations for it, then accepting it and making the effort and the commitment to not do it again and to move on and learn from it. It’s unsettling because it means admitting to yourself and sometimes others that you were wrong in your behaviour, in your belief and maybe even your boundaries. It may also mean looking at other events that occurred in your life that are painful and confusing and in looking at the boundaries that arose from those events. So, unsettling could be putting it mildly.

Taking this inventory, maybe not entirely, but certainly regarding some of my behaviours that I have been recently wallowing in, is what I’ve been doing for the last couple of weeks. I’ve been looking at them (my behaviours and habits) and looking at what I can do to make reparation for them and in the effort, grow as a person. This also has the added benefit of working towards making myself a clearer vessel both to channel energy for healing and readings but also to channel more positive things for myself (like a regular income) and to others. And i can see light at the end of the tunnel.

I can see changes in my behaviour and how things affect me but growth is an ever upward-spiraling event so we address different aspects of the same things over and over again, clearing our vibrational levels as we go through each experience again, and again. So, there is growth and change and it is sometimes faster than other times but it does happen even if we can’t seem to see movement – so again, back to unsettling, and so it should be. But there is growth and while you may not always be able to see it, others will and eventually you’ll feel the difference inside you when you make a decision about something and it’s a different decision that what you would have done before. This is redefining your boundaries and it comes from taking this “fearless inventory”.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s easy to talk about boundaries but sometimes it’s very difficult to figure out your own and to figure out when you need to set some and release others.

The stuff that I have been most recently trying to figure out is about why I’m so territorial, why other peoples’ noise bothers me so much, why the little things get to me, why I remember almost every slight ever done to me and why people on this earth are here to torment me (only slightly egocentric), or more specifically, what lesson is it that I am to learn from these experiences? As a “cancer” in the astrological show, my tendencies include being oversensitive and living in the past. So, we’re back to overcoming my nature and I’ve been trying to look at it objectively, being honest about it but not beating myself up about it (tapping (EFT) has been helping a lot here).

And I think I’ve figured it out, finally. At least, for me.

Those things, territoriality, annoyed by little things, they are about safety. It’s about having boundaries in a physical way (rules) when you don’t trust that you have the strength, or more likely, courage, to address those boundary issues at the time they actually arise. And in the past, I was not able to address some boundary issues so I suppose it makes sense. I was too shy, too embarrassed, too ashamed, etc, to speak to anyone about things or as I got older, but not necessarily calmer, I was too abrupt and rude about it because I was scared silly of saying anything at all so when I finally got the guts to say anything, I was so angry about it that I was out of control. And those rules seem to be pretty important to me. However, I’m trying to overcome those tendencies. Sometimes those rules can get pretty specific (kind of like French Grammar – like this but only for 3 things, and the rest of the time it’s like this) and are sometimes pretty random, as my roommate will certainly attest to.

But the other thought that comes with this business about boundaries and safety is that if we are working to live a more authentic life, to live more in tune with the Higher Self, more in tune with that part of us not affected by the human condition, then shouldn’t we be letting go of those things? Shouldn’t we be letting go of that need for safety? When it boils down to it, does the soul actually need safety? Does the soul really need boundaries?

I don’t think it does. I think the soul is perfectly safe, despite dire threats to the contrary by so many groups out there. Granted, it is bound to the human body (no offense to non-humans here) but I don’t think it needs the extra boundaries. It’s the human ego and the human condition that needs them. The soul just needs to remember what it is.

Supposedly, the lives we live here are ones of learning, of illusion, as some put it, and not of actual “reality” (let’s not get to existential right now). The reality is that the soul is completely connected to Source, and is a piece of the Divine, of Source and safety is a human condition construct, just as is our experience here, on this earth. So, as part of Source, can the soul be damaged? Can Source be damaged?

In the bigger picture, no, I don’t think Source can be damaged. Can you hurt God? Can you hurt the Universal Energy, the Universal Love, that only loves and accepts unconditionally?

Are boundaries necessary, though? As humans, oh, yes, I think so. It’s kind of a mixed bag though, isn’t it? On one hand, do we need to have boundaries if we are all a part of Source, but we are taught, and I think rightly so, that boundaries are necessary for self-respect, and other things. But are those boundaries actually helping us to get clearer? To get closer to the Divine? In deciding to say no to something we don’t want to do, then that really is a step towards the Divine because we are trying to be happier and more at peace, the path to becoming more compassionate, and more of a divine vessel for light and love.

So, in setting boundaries, we set ourselves up to either be happy, or to be miserable and safe. I suppose the trick is to know the difference. And now we’re back to safety. Sometimes, I guess, since there is no way around having experiences where all of our boundaries may be tested, then we have to set the intent for ourselves that we set the boundaries that are the best for us and then hope for the best. And well, I suppose the truth is that the best is what each of us will get anyway, no matter how we go forward or what decisions we make – they are all the right choices.

I do work under the assumption that reality, as defined by books (I don’t know physics here, so I’m going with the simple definitions), is what you make of it. That each of us is a part of a larger piece and that piece, the soul, as we call it, chooses the life it wants to lead before it comes to this plane of existence, to Earth. And, as neutral beings of love (Universal Love Source Energy), then all manner of lifestyle and choice is a choice of love, a choice made without fear, without boundaries, for the experience. The boundaries come after we get here. So, in growth, we need to re-evaluate those boundaries on a regular basis and expand our definition of safety, or narrow it, depending on your outlook.

With Love and Light,
Jenn

Questions, comments? Email me at wyldvynes@yahoo.ca.

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Nature

I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday, as we walked along Glenmore Reservoir alternately freezing our faces off and being too warm (cold wind, only 0 degrees out and warm sun, typical Calgary weather) and we got to talking about archetypes.

You’ve probably heard about archetypes: they are classifications in psychology, in astrology (what’s your sign?) as well as the Chinese signs (this is the year of the Ox); there are others out there as well, ones that I’m more familiar with like Carolyn Myss’ archetypes, as well as the archetypes of the Micheal System. I’m also developing a set of archetypes that my guides have been giving me a bit of an outline on.

By definition (thanks to Wikipedia) an archetype is a model of a person, personality, or behavior. In addition, there are 2 other classifications: a stereotype—a personality type observed multiple times, especially an oversimplification of such a type; and an epitome—personality type exemplified, especially the “greatest” such example.

We are all a variety of archetypes and we are often defined by those embodiments, whether we realize it or not. How often have you heard – oh that person is a {insert astrological sign here}, and that’s why they are like that.  Or this person is this way, etc because of this.

We are also born with what we call a nature, also called personality, a way that we do things. This is a fact:  we are born already imprinted with a basic outline, so somewhere along the way, someone decided to classify those personality traits and tendencies and give them a name. Notice how naming something gives it power? But to get back to archetypes . . .The evidence would certainly support the supposition that we are typecast before we even get started!

Sometimes that’s a good thing because as we are growing up we can get a clue as to why we’re like this or react that way. It’s our nature. It both defines and explains who we are and why we are. This can bring us some comfort but it can be used as a crutch, too, or as an excuse for bad behaviour.As an excuse for not trying to look at our stuff, for not valuing ourselves enough to love ourselves and look after ourselves.  It’s in my nature, that’s just the way I am, yada, yada.

In the growth process of becoming a “bigger” person, calmer, more detached (yes, we are talking about me), or more involved, more confident, more outgoing, etc we take what we were given, that basic outline that we started with at birth, that was shaped by the beliefs and habits of our parents, our families, our friends, our teachers, our Romans, etc and we try and overcome it.  But who we are today is different than who you were when you were born, n’est ce pas?

It’s like Amish friendship bread, you start with a base then throw other stuff into the mix (or you could start with the martini analogy too – start with an excellent vodka and go from there).  It sometimes turns out okay, sometimes needs a bit of tweaking, and sometimes needs to be changed completely.

So,  here’s the thinker.

In the process of becoming a clearer, greater person, of achieving that Christ/Buddha consciousness, do we really have to overcome our nature, our basic “I was born this way” nature? Or do we need to find our true nature, and come back to who we were as a baby because this is our true nature, by actually overcoming our programming, our extra recipe additions? Or, if you believe in past lives, that we carry stuff over from other lifetimes, is the nature we are really trying to get back to one that looks us in the face everyday, that of Divine Source?

This was the conundrum I was discussing with my friend. Is overcoming your nature the key to growth as a soul?

No, it’s not. We are all divine beings, a part of the Source, of God, of the Universal Energy or the Universal Love, the Universe, Allah, or Buddha? Therefore, our true nature is that of unconditional love, of Universal Love, of the Divine. So it’s not overcoming our nature that we have to do, it’s getting back to our nature by overcoming the programming, the archetypes, the extra mix in the drink, by distilling ourselves down (or up) to the vibration of Source.

Hmm, well, just a few things to filter out . . . 🙂
With love and light,
Jenn

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