Have you ever heard the term “fearless inventory”? And no, I’m not talking about counting all those dust and cobweb-covered (ooh, the spiders!) cans in the back corner. It’s a term that has floated around for a while with different programs out there and it’s really both interesting and not a little unsettling.
As I recall, taking a “fearless inventory” means looking at all of your “stuff”, both your light “stuff” and your dark “stuff” (but mostly your dark “stuff”) without blinders on, without fooling yourself about it but also without judging yourself for it. It means looking at all that stuff and either fixing it or making reparations for it, then accepting it and making the effort and the commitment to not do it again and to move on and learn from it. It’s unsettling because it means admitting to yourself and sometimes others that you were wrong in your behaviour, in your belief and maybe even your boundaries. It may also mean looking at other events that occurred in your life that are painful and confusing and in looking at the boundaries that arose from those events. So, unsettling could be putting it mildly.
Taking this inventory, maybe not entirely, but certainly regarding some of my behaviours that I have been recently wallowing in, is what I’ve been doing for the last couple of weeks. I’ve been looking at them (my behaviours and habits) and looking at what I can do to make reparation for them and in the effort, grow as a person. This also has the added benefit of working towards making myself a clearer vessel both to channel energy for healing and readings but also to channel more positive things for myself (like a regular income) and to others. And i can see light at the end of the tunnel.
I can see changes in my behaviour and how things affect me but growth is an ever upward-spiraling event so we address different aspects of the same things over and over again, clearing our vibrational levels as we go through each experience again, and again. So, there is growth and change and it is sometimes faster than other times but it does happen even if we can’t seem to see movement – so again, back to unsettling, and so it should be. But there is growth and while you may not always be able to see it, others will and eventually you’ll feel the difference inside you when you make a decision about something and it’s a different decision that what you would have done before. This is redefining your boundaries and it comes from taking this “fearless inventory”.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s easy to talk about boundaries but sometimes it’s very difficult to figure out your own and to figure out when you need to set some and release others.
The stuff that I have been most recently trying to figure out is about why I’m so territorial, why other peoples’ noise bothers me so much, why the little things get to me, why I remember almost every slight ever done to me and why people on this earth are here to torment me (only slightly egocentric), or more specifically, what lesson is it that I am to learn from these experiences? As a “cancer” in the astrological show, my tendencies include being oversensitive and living in the past. So, we’re back to overcoming my nature and I’ve been trying to look at it objectively, being honest about it but not beating myself up about it (tapping (EFT) has been helping a lot here).
And I think I’ve figured it out, finally. At least, for me.
Those things, territoriality, annoyed by little things, they are about safety. It’s about having boundaries in a physical way (rules) when you don’t trust that you have the strength, or more likely, courage, to address those boundary issues at the time they actually arise. And in the past, I was not able to address some boundary issues so I suppose it makes sense. I was too shy, too embarrassed, too ashamed, etc, to speak to anyone about things or as I got older, but not necessarily calmer, I was too abrupt and rude about it because I was scared silly of saying anything at all so when I finally got the guts to say anything, I was so angry about it that I was out of control. And those rules seem to be pretty important to me. However, I’m trying to overcome those tendencies. Sometimes those rules can get pretty specific (kind of like French Grammar – like this but only for 3 things, and the rest of the time it’s like this) and are sometimes pretty random, as my roommate will certainly attest to.
But the other thought that comes with this business about boundaries and safety is that if we are working to live a more authentic life, to live more in tune with the Higher Self, more in tune with that part of us not affected by the human condition, then shouldn’t we be letting go of those things? Shouldn’t we be letting go of that need for safety? When it boils down to it, does the soul actually need safety? Does the soul really need boundaries?
I don’t think it does. I think the soul is perfectly safe, despite dire threats to the contrary by so many groups out there. Granted, it is bound to the human body (no offense to non-humans here) but I don’t think it needs the extra boundaries. It’s the human ego and the human condition that needs them. The soul just needs to remember what it is.
Supposedly, the lives we live here are ones of learning, of illusion, as some put it, and not of actual “reality” (let’s not get to existential right now). The reality is that the soul is completely connected to Source, and is a piece of the Divine, of Source and safety is a human condition construct, just as is our experience here, on this earth. So, as part of Source, can the soul be damaged? Can Source be damaged?
In the bigger picture, no, I don’t think Source can be damaged. Can you hurt God? Can you hurt the Universal Energy, the Universal Love, that only loves and accepts unconditionally?
Are boundaries necessary, though? As humans, oh, yes, I think so. It’s kind of a mixed bag though, isn’t it? On one hand, do we need to have boundaries if we are all a part of Source, but we are taught, and I think rightly so, that boundaries are necessary for self-respect, and other things. But are those boundaries actually helping us to get clearer? To get closer to the Divine? In deciding to say no to something we don’t want to do, then that really is a step towards the Divine because we are trying to be happier and more at peace, the path to becoming more compassionate, and more of a divine vessel for light and love.
So, in setting boundaries, we set ourselves up to either be happy, or to be miserable and safe. I suppose the trick is to know the difference. And now we’re back to safety. Sometimes, I guess, since there is no way around having experiences where all of our boundaries may be tested, then we have to set the intent for ourselves that we set the boundaries that are the best for us and then hope for the best. And well, I suppose the truth is that the best is what each of us will get anyway, no matter how we go forward or what decisions we make – they are all the right choices.
I do work under the assumption that reality, as defined by books (I don’t know physics here, so I’m going with the simple definitions), is what you make of it. That each of us is a part of a larger piece and that piece, the soul, as we call it, chooses the life it wants to lead before it comes to this plane of existence, to Earth. And, as neutral beings of love (Universal Love Source Energy), then all manner of lifestyle and choice is a choice of love, a choice made without fear, without boundaries, for the experience. The boundaries come after we get here. So, in growth, we need to re-evaluate those boundaries on a regular basis and expand our definition of safety, or narrow it, depending on your outlook.
With Love and Light,
Questions, comments? Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.